Notes from old notepad (2006.03.14)

Notes from old notepads
I'm starting the process of transcribing the thousands of notes I have in little reporter notepads in a hope that I will have them in a digestible and searchable fashion. This is sort of blog cheating, but oh well.
2003.10.29
Basis for my MFA Film
*Leady by Questions
*Break science down to its philosophical base
*Make the Familiar Strange. This should help increase the viewers curiosity about them selves and their life by helping to make them an active questioner
*The exotic prohibits viewers from investing themselves in the questions of conservation etc., because it can all be seen as not me, not related or concerning me.
Yellowstone photographer Lee Sillman, places worth seeing:
Fairyland Basin ~ mono lake tufa, but smaller
Death Gulch – high SO2 in air kills unsuspecting animals
Cutoff Mountain
Upper Pebble Creek
Electrick Peak
Gallatan Petrified Forest
Pine Springs
Union Fall
5 Sisters Spring
Morning Falls – near union falls
SE part of park has the water falls


The ideas are always beyond the thinker.


Derrida Documentary Movie @ the Roxie in Bozeman:
L'avenir – unexpected future
The other
"Points" 1992 – Love in narcissistic
Existentialism at the bottom is the question of Being
Speaks in detached objectives "the one" "the other"
1982 Interview – improvisation is impossible
"Violence and metaphysics" 1963
Derrida is terribly secretive of his own life and yet wishes the opposite of others
"if you were to know one thing about Heidegger, what would it be" the filmmaker asks
"I would want to know about his sex life," responds Derrida.
"What is your sex life like?"
"I prefer not to talk about this." End conversation
"Libraries are grave yards of thoughts, it is where they have stopped being alive in the mind and have been buried in paper" – Derrida.
Candied Yams
5-6 large yams – boil with skins, peel, mush
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
½ cup butter
1tsp vanilla
Greese 9x 14 pan
Topping:
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup flour
1 cup pecans
1 cup brown sugar
mash together and add to top.
Bake 30min @ 350

Colter-
Guy I tutored in general bio. A wisp of a guy, but tough as nails, but mild mannered. At MSU on a bull riding scholarship. He was getting B's and A's on tests by the time I left.

Alaska, places to visit, recommendations from Nate SMC MFA:
Valley of 10,000 smokers.
Documentary film is the remnants of an enlightenment period concept that needs to give birth to the post-modern.
You can flush post-modernism out of modernity, but you can't flush modernity out of post-modernism
green notebook___________________________________________________________

Modern heroes are actors. We value being deceived, deceive me, paint me with make up, cover me from you – that is where my only value lies, in lies. In Odysseus ability to deceive his way through the odyssey
____________
What happens if I never learned to discriminate between different objects. Ex- ground and plant?
____________
Life is composed of few intense all most unbearable moments that define you, everything else is just background noise to these events.
__________
2001.09.24
Mt. St Helens:
*pacific silver fur, some survived blast on north side of hills
*Columbia and surrounding rivers heavily sedimented due to extreme volcanic activity
*Yellow False dandelion and Pearly Everlasting (white flowers, yellow centers – very dry looking) Some of the first plants to reclaim the blast site. Probably have nitrogen fixing bacteria associated with root structures.
*Glacier growing in crater since 1980, about 50ft/year.
*Amphibian populations growing – what is the insect population like?
*5 miles to arch near crater from visitor center
*Mt Adadms 12k, Mt St. Helens 8k.
_________________
2005.10.05
Wandering around Burnside, Portland at Night:
Tim Reynolds at Dante's on Burnside. I know this only because I walk by the deeply packed bar behind tinted glass and here his familiar rhythms. The air pours outwards into the street carrying its heavy burden of tobacco and a little THC surprise. Men argue at the door about the sold out show, their sold out souls. They converse in only argument and dollars, yet between them the sweet sounds continues on from inside. What it must be like inside, where there is no argument, no commitment just listening and you will have spoken.
Residual Goths cover the street like post-industrial soot outside the Theatre Paris.
_________
Lazy Angles and Orange tones
________________
Save Mt Diablo Hike 2004:
*peregrine falcons re-introduced to Mt. Diablo's castle rock in 1980's
*Blue oaks and North and East slopes, needs less sun, leaves like olives
*Hollywood (LA) actually mistakenly named after toyon berry bushes
*Artemisea (sp) California – costal sage
*Valley Oaks have deep lobes on leaves
*Buckeye nectar has narcotic in it.
*Zushineria – hummingbird flower, 1st flower to open and last to close
*Black Diamond mines – coal between sandstone layers
*DDT effect on peregrine falcons – decreased density of egg shells
*Priarie Falcons – brown instead of grey, not effected by DDT because of their diet. Perigrine chicks switched into Praire Flacons nests (cross fostering) as part of their re-introduction to Mt. Diablo.
*Digger Pine- derogatory name for Native Americans
_______________
Closed eyes of
Happiness blues,
Subtle breath of suffocation,
Broken with the smile of rebirth,
If one could
Be born into every moment,
Yet die between each muscle
Twitch –
Die
Into the calmness of
______________
Sew these words into paper in the hope that someday they shall grow to be something.
_________________
Light green scares of logging
Annual wildflowers
The only benefactors to the death of the perennial trees
And the ferns that survive only in their shade.
__________________
We sit around and talk
Of incoherencies
That fall to the floor like dead waves
Of silence

In hushed whispers
To light for ourselves to here

And we call it wonder
Call it faith or love
Call it anything
That permits us to
Hide from ourselves.

Teal notebook____________________________________________________________

Things found in 1502 Alice street basement rooms when I became manager:
*hole in boiler room floor with ants nest
*7 normal sized doors
*1 extra large door
*1 powerwheels truck
*1 8ft black vinyl couch
*1 road bike
*1 microwave
*1 toaster oven
*1 removable minivan seat
*1 sink
*1 step ladder
*4 translucent glass pieces
*2 wooden crutches
*1 Large TV (60's style)
*1 box of marble tile
*1 5 gallon bucket of motor oil with partially submerged funnel
__________
The world she is kind and gentle
She cradles my every desire,
Yet like a gentle woman,
She may, with lack of intent,
Be cruel beyond bounds.
_________
2004.05.01
Cascades and Olympics from Seat-Tac:
I sat at Sea-Tac and saw the sun soar up in the east, over the shrowded shades of the cascades snow laden backs and to the wast across the sea seattle calls a sound, from the ground did rise mighty mounds of sea layered mud, whose peaks now reap the clouds, now break the sky causing it to continually cry. Oh how I long to walk in their harvest, to taste the green belly of the valleys and breath the blue of a ridge line.

Flight to Missoula:
Helens, Hood, Rainer and Adams
Columbia feeding life to farm lands to its east.
How woman captivate each other openly- but men do not.
Circle of crops
But water is only one of many molecules that pass through these pipes.
A tiled earth, some tiles hold circles, others still native features of the land-
Though its color has been bleached
An old river basin or wash stops the tiling
And organic shapes begin to appear
-but here it is not the things that gorw that are harvested, but where they grow.
Like so many mishapen hands on the earths surface.

How strange it is to look upon another and admire or lust for only distinct pieces.

To melt with her skin as entering a warm bath-
Where not a single nerve is left untouched
Where one can be enveloped
Yet distinct

Be good to us plane, be good to us.
Us travelers from afar returning home
and us that travel far from home-
we wish to return too.

Idaho- oh! How the mountains are riddled with roads
Who carry rivers of men to wash away trees from ravines
Yet not a single abode
From afar these native are raped for the promise of gold.
Montana- how white are your mountains of may.
______________________
Missoula Film Festival Notes:
A text is a catalyst for a conversation.
Nostalgic Imperialism – When something goes away, you begin to desire it. Have/want paradox
__________
2004.05.05
The sun she creeps in,
Beneath a warm morning blanket
Of berber clouds
Illuminating the hills to the west
While leaving the eastern hills sleepy in nights momentary comfort
The fringes of the blanket, frayed and torn
Glow patiently with morning.
______________
In the arid may night lilack entwined our senses as if their true form of existence was that of a vine and not of a bush. Their heavy purple cones illuminated the air for my olfactory- that place where sense and memory are nearly one in the same
The air felt as if the skin of all who lived there-
Each immediately aware of the other, the earth, the water
And all those beings that share this place

A range pushed up through the blanket and as white toes
Cold all night, exposing, curling up the blanket
Above the blanket the contour of the earth is pressed
Every hill, every valley recognizable without sight.

Somewhere between the want and the will, I stumble.

How is it that we've known each other for so little,
Yet have known each other's soul for so long?
Bethany talked over her 17 year old brother's
Old soul
And I couldn't help but think of Palkert.

You of the mountains and me of the coast.
Where did our pasts share the same valley?
Entwined in grass along an eager stream
Where fish knew not to fear us.
Where we covered ourselves in the sun's warm embrace
And lived by sleeping awake.

Big sister – Jen Shoemaker.

There is an openness in this place
Not only between the surrounding mountains.
But between each other

Rain that returns to hail fills the lucid night.
Cloud lightening like liquid illumination
Spilling from one cloud into another.
Larkspur, Taku, the colors bleed
From hillside-green, red, purple, brown and blue.
A lawn of dandelions
Stretches from one side of the valley to the other
Banks and pockets already in seed
Yet yellow persists everywhere.

Red notepad_______________________________________________________

Palindromes:
Nipson anomemata me monanopsin
"wash the sin as well as the face"
Greek Palindrome

In girum imus noete et consumimur igni
"we enter the circle after dark and are consumed by fire" (about moths)
Roman Palindrome

I did, did I
Word-unit palindrome
bid
Mirror palindrome

Drawn inward
Evil alive
Evil olive
He did, eh?
I roamed under it as a tired, nude maori.
___________
Mersime Primes
(2^n-1), n = prime, except 11 and ?
fermats equation
a^(p-1) = 1 (mod p)
example:
p = 5
2^4 =16
16 = 1(mod 5)
3^4 = 81
81 = 1(mod 5)

Miller's test
1
n is prime
_____________________
Laura Boyd's old job – south pacific sails ship
__________
winter is a promise
soil gripped by snow
release the spring
strip trees leaves
a cold that keeps the clouds at home
visibility of frozen air
Ice sheets hold a slumbering soil
Coiled and asleep
Azure sky
Fall winds whisper
Winters promise
Through the trees and falling leaves
Sunsets intensified by a nearly infinite number
Of crystal mirrors
Water flows like glass
Dec 21.
________
the individual is always the agent of social change